you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
