You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
