I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
