If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
