I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize