Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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