We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
