Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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