i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
