i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
