Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
