Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
