I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
