I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
