Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
