Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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