He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
