I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
