apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize