No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
