Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she smelled like a LAN party
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
