if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
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