Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
