Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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