Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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