Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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