Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We left the knife in your bed.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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