it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
