you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
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trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
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Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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