Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
