the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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