Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
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I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
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I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize