They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I understand Curling. That high.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
