you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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