We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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