my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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