I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think people are normalizing furries
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
