You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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