he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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