That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
