Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
