i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
