Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
