just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
