Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
