if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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