erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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