I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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