Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
