I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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