we have pet lesbian snakes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
