Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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