I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
