Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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