About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
