Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
