I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You dont lie about slip and slides
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize