Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
ttyl tear gas
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
