btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
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Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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