Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
