Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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