return my video game
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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