Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
