Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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