The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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