Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
