so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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