you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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