you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
